Eroica's Capture
by Kasolyna
Summary: The Major has finally caught Eroica, in his own home.  A failed attempt to steal The Man in Purple, a conversation in handcuffs, some discoveries and an eternal rivalry, and a kiss.  From Eroica with Love, Major Darling.


I do not own any of these characters. I just had a dream about them last night that inspired this story. It was really weird, Eroica was trying to steal a violin, and then he ran all over the place, and then, after many many chases, he was finally caught. And he just leaned against the major, knowing he had finally been caught. I changed a lot of things for the story, and I hope you enjoy it. R&R please. :D

OOO

"You know, you've really done it this time, haven't you Eroica?" Iron Klaus said as he smoked a cigarette, his wrist handcuffed to the English spy's, "No escape for you this time. You're probably really happy about this situation though," he pulled his captive wrist a little, "Pervert."

"Under any other circumstances, I would be happy. But there is too much melancholy in my life. While I'll probably never be this close to you again, I'll also never see you again. Such a bittersweet thing is so artistic, but for once, I do not care for it."

"Just because there was a fire-" the Major started.

"A fire that destroyed centuries worth of beautiful art that will never be recovered. Art that spoke to the soul, that had it's own life. But you don't understand such beauty. All you see is paint splattered across a canvas to create blurs of images. You have your own sense of beauty, I understand that, but has no piece ever moved your heart? Or are you completely iron in your heart?"

"If it was made by a German-"

"Of course, by a German. So if I brought you a work of Leonardo Davinci and told you it was some German artist, you would say it was good. You can be tricked so easily just by mentioning something German. It will be your downfall Klaus."

"Don't call me by my first name fag. This is your fault for sneaking into my house to try and take that pumpkin painting. I just have to wait for the authorities and you'll be locked up forever. Really though, I thought you were a smarter man than that."

"Maybe I wanted to be caught."

"Then you truly are an idiot,"

"Maybe, or maybe I knew it was the end of my career as a thief. And of course, there is only one man fit to bring me to justice. I know you'd be steaming if anyone else caught me, after all the trouble I've given you. And besides, this way I get to say goodbye."

"Don't get all sappy when you're about to go to prison, it isn't manly."

"Major, can I lean on you for a moment?"

"No."

"Please? I'll never bother you again, think of it as my last request."

The major sighed as his cigarette finished. Letting the butt fall, he smashed it with his foot a little, letting the silence fill the air like he was considering the answer. It was true, the blonde thief would be gone from his existence forever. He obviously didn't have the willpower to be a thief, his spark was gone. But why did he have to give up so easily? Was all that art really worth so much that it would send a grown man to his death bed? What a pansy. But, if he had lost his job position and had nothing to do, he would most likely go insane as well. He definitely wouldn't go and meet with Eroica, but he might become insane enough to settle down and open a shop of some kind and raise children, the nasty little things.

"Fine, but don't lean too hard. I don't want my shirt smelling of whatever queer perfume you use. And as soon as someone comes, you better stop if you don't want a punch to the face."

"Thank you Major," Eroica said, not questioning his rival's change in mind. He just leaned against him softly, enjoying the moment.

"But, what happened to your crew? They couldn't have died in the fire, and Mr. James is a devil, nothing will kill him."

"Mr. James found a new employer, and many followed him. He's always been a sucker for a pretty face, just never thought he'd find one better than mine. And he was also running away from you, since I insisted on running towards you."

"What about Bonham? He was loyal."

"Oh, he was, a good friend. Heart attack though, and he was the sensible one. A little ridiculous if you ask me, not at all romantic."

"Well, either way, I'll never see your faggy self again."

"True, but you'll miss me."

"Why did you have to get caught?"

"Nothing else to do. Who knows, I might become miserable enough to want to escape from prison. Or I might find a new crew in there, hope springs eternal."

"I suppose. Anything you gonna miss? And don't say me."

"Well, there was Caesar. You may not remember him, but he's what brought us together at first."

"Don't act like we're a fucking couple fag."

"Don't overreact Major, it's bad for your image. Anyways, we made a romantic deal that we would kiss one thousand times. We never even made it past ten. I got too infatuated with someone else. I wonder if he's still waiting for me. He might be a good addition to a new team if I ever decide to start again."

"Fucking queers," the Major mumbled as he pulled out another cigarette.

"Fucking asexuals," Eroica chuckled.

"Excuse me?"

"You're asexual, nothing interests you. You're the best and worse kind of challenge, because I'll never get you. And no matter how much I love you, I love the chase more. And we'd make a terrible couple, not that I was ever one for relationships."

"I'm interested in things."

"In iron, in smooth, calculating iron. Never a person though. You've never been interested in a person before."

"You're interesting," the major said. "But don't get the wrong idea fag, as a challenge. You're interesting as a challenge."

"See, I'm not a person to you. I think you hate us homosexuals because we're completely open about what we want, and it's something you don't have. You're jealous of us Major, but you'll never figure that out."

"Shut up before I knock you out."

"Fair enough, the police should be coming soon. But before they do," Eroica leaned forward and kissed the Major Eberbach on the lips. It was too quick for him to respond, and Eroica pulled back quickly enough to reveal that he had freed himself from the hand cuffs and chained the major to the couch. "I'll be back soon enough, and you can turn me in then. But I can finally have The Man in Purple, and I'll return when he's in a good hiding place. You want him back, Klaus, you better give me a reason to get out of prison."

"You fucking queer! Unlock me right now so I can beat the shit out of you!"

"No can do Klaus. I hope you enjoyed your first kiss, you tasted like cigarettes."

Eroica then quickly ran and took the painting before handing it off to one of the few men who had stayed with him. A slim, young fellow with long brown hair. He was a beauty, just Eroica's type, but he would never touch him. He was going to wait until he had Klaus, and he would, one day.

With the painting being carried off, he returned to the room with the pissed off major, "Now don't be so glum, just turn me in and you'll be rid of me. But only I and one other person know the location of the painting, and I do believe this is my greatest heist yet."

"Was all of that a lie then?" The Major demanded. He could not believe he had been fooled so easily.

"No, my collection is gone, as is one of my houses. Most of my team is gone as well. But I needed something final, something grand to do before I retired. And I stole from you right under your nose. I'll be a legend. And while you can let me rot in hell, I know you'll want that painting back eventually, Klaus darling."

"I hate you."

"And I love you," Eroica chuckled as he finally heard the sirens. His freedom was going to be gone soon, but he trusted the major to let him free soon enough. His pride would demand it. Until then though, he would just have to wait it out, and wait for the one who hated him the most, the one he loved the most, to figure out his own feelings.


End file.
